“I don’t know what I want!” is a lament that I get from clients all the time. They know they want SOMETHING, but often times that comes in the form of “shoulds” that have been prescribed by someone else: parents, teachers, self-help gurus, industry standards, or the like. They have a feeling that there is something that they should aspire toward, but somewhere between catering to the status quo and appeasing their inner and outer critics, they get stuck and don’t know what to do next.

That’s when I pull out my favorite exercise that I like to call “The Long and Rambling Email.” This is an adaptation on an exercise that one of my favorite coaches, Steve Chandler, asks all of his prospects to complete before working with him. He may even call it “the long rambling email,” but that’s what I call mine too, so we’ll have to argue over the origin of the name one day.

Here’s how it goes:

Open your email program.
In the “to” field put your own email address. You’re planning to send this email to yourself only. If you choose to add someone else to the email later, that’s fine, but for now you’re writing this to yourself.
Set a timer for thirty minutes…or forty-five…or sixty. It doesn’t really matter the exact time, just make it long enough. This is the TOTAL amount of time that you will spend on this exercise.
In the “subject” field, put “WHAT I WANT.”
Now, in the email body, write yourself a LONG, RAMBLING email using the question “What Do I Want?” as the starting question.
Don’t edit too much…just lay it all out there. What are your hopes, your dreams, your aspirations? What color do you want your Porsche to be? How much money do you want to make? How do you want to spend your time? Who do you want to be spending your time with? Where do you want to live, and in what type of house? All of these questions are fair game…ANY question is fair game.
At the end of your time limit, stop and press SEND. You may at this point choose to copy your coach or your best friend, or even me..but no matter what DO NOT SEND THIS TO YOUR SPOUSE. The idea here is to give you an insulated, unadulterated record of what you want RIGHT NOW.

That’s it. If you dig deeper, you’ll take away quite a few insights from this exercise. First, you’ll clearly see little habits that you can start instilling today to get yourself closer to your vision of the life you’ve always imagined. Some of the changes may seem bigger and more overwhelming. It’s okay. Just by having a clear goal of what you want your life to be like, will initiate your subconscious mind working to get you there. You’ll notice the opportunities that you haven’t seen before, you’ll do things a little differently, and your set of circumstances will change, creating different, more positive outcomes. The next time you need a little centering, open up your email program and do it all over again.